Timmy sits in front of another failed attempt at a sand castle. His excuse, "What's the point? The tide will take whatever I create, much like death will take all of us some day."

Imagination of Boy Severely Lacking
by Patrick Kirk Gillock

Chesterville, WA - Parents, John and Judy Patterson, are extremely disappointed with their 8 year old son, Timmy. No, it's not because he scratched the family sedan or called someone "stupidhead." Their upset because of Timmy's lack of imagination. "He's extremely bright... he just doesn't day dream enough. We just want him to be like the rest of the kids his age." Judy went on to say, "He's the only one at school who hasn't been diagnosed with A.D.D. ...Where did we go wrong?"

When asked what led them to believe their son lacks creativity John replied, "Well he's never had an imaginary friend or even made a fort! Hell, last Christmas I dressed up as Santa and all he could say was Very nice Father, you've lowered yourself to that of a Department Store Elf? The only thing missing from your putrid costume is the stench of urine and alcohol on your breath! Now out of my way, fat man!" Judy then adds, "He won't even watch TV. He thinks it's a... ugh... ugh" John interrupts "He calls it Animated Cliff's Notes... Where humanity is exploited and broken down into 10 second news blurbs!!!! Can you believe that?" Judy finishes by saying "Where did we go wrong?"

This reporter decided to speak with Timmy, one-on-one, about his parents concerns.

LD: I assume you know why I'm here?

Timmy: This will be a quick parley if all your questions are based on assumptions.

LD: Ohhh... they're not. I mean... sorry.

Timmy: Get on with it media man!

LD: I'm sorry... So do you feel your creativity and imagination need improvement?

Timmy: Imaginations are for the weak. It's a poor mans escape from that which he fears the most. I could explain it further but your feeble intellect would take years to decipher it... Now out of my way Pen Pusher!

At first I was insulted by the way this 8 year old treated me. But later I reanalyzed my encounter with Timmy. It seems as though I became afraid of him. No, not with physical harm. Oh no, Timmy says "Violence is only for those who lack the intelligence and vocabulary to discuss a better solution. I have all three; intelligence, vocabulary, and a better solution." I wasn't frightened for my life but rather frightened for my mind. It was as if I were being mentally overpowered by a stronger mind. I have to admit, it was strangely compelling. The entire encounter resulted in an epiphany.

I can only hope that Timmy is reading this article and he understands that this "pen pusher" supports him on everything he wants to do. I am no longer afraid Timmy. I want to learn what you have to teach. Let me be your pupil, your apprentice! We will get others to listen and follow... [Article edited. Reporter has been suspended without pay.]

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