Wrestler Arrested for Attempted Murder Inside Ring
by Patrick Kirk Gillock

Chesterville, WA - Last night police officials went through with their promise to "Crack Down on the Smack Down" when they arrested WFW Wrestler Bone Crusher McGraw for attempted murder, halfway through his match with Chad "The Vocabularian" Pettington.

"Clearly Bone Crusher showed no regard for the law or Chad's life." Said Sheriff Lindsey McDonald. "We are going to do our best to stop this senseless violence before it becomes less entertaining."

Witnesses say Bone Crusher made repeated blows to Chad's back with a metal chair and even threw Chad out of the ring after becoming unconscious from his stranglehold.

The event was witnessed by over 8,000 screaming fans who flocked to see the WFW event held at the Chesterville Civic Arena. Police say many of the fans were cheering Bone Crusher McGraw. "It made me sick to see the public encourage that kind of abuse to a man." Said Deputy Leroy Turner. "This is not American Gladiators. This is real! If I had more cuffs I would have arrested every one of them!"

The Vocabularian, known for his articulate taunts to other wrestlers, was reported to be recovering at the home of McGraw's fiancé. This news ended months of speculation on whether there was a relationship between The Vocabularian and Bone Crusher's fiancé.

A statement written by Chad simply said: "I live and I work in a vile and turbulent world of machismo Neanderthals. It is my reality. It is my curse. ...And it is my destiny to kick McGraw's gluteus maximus next Friday night at WFW's Fresh Meat Event on Pay-Per-View. SO ALL YOU PREPUBESCENT SOFA WARMERS BETTER TUNE IN!!!"

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