
Many consider todays announcement to be nothing more than a publicity stunt for the upcoming "Rockem Sockem Death Match" on Pay-Per-View later this month. |
Red Rock'em Sock'em Robot Files Aggrivated Assault Charges
by Terry Y. Loh
Chesterville, WA - In a surprise press conference, the Red Rock'em Sock'em Robot announced his intention to file aggrivated assault charges, claiming that he, "would no longer be party to the senseless knocking off of blocks. Let's end the cycle of pain. Plastic hands are not made for hitting. Well, maybe they are, but that's what I'm trying to change."
"That's just a load of Lincoln Logs," said the Blue Rock'em Sock'em Robot. "He's just tired of getting beaten down by me all the time."
Concerning the Blue Robot, Red said, "I have not filed a restraining order... yet. That's really up to him. As far as his career being linked to mine, that's not my concern. He can go and knock his own block off as far as I am concerned."
Eleven-year-old Timmy Burton, a long-time fan of the brutal game was near tears after the announcement. "This sucks. What am I gonna to do now? I guess I'm just gonna to hafta hit my little brother in the head
for real. Where's my bat?"
"I came to this decision after a great deal of thought," said Red, "I have been concerned for a long time about what kind of a message I was sending to the nation's youth."
When asked about future plans, Red was "undecided," but was considering a career as an action star. "Just look at The Rock or Schwarzenegger, both of them are plastic on screen. Besides, I can make my head come off. Do you think they can top that?"
<< Back | Main | Next >>
|