Clowns perform the controversial and scary "Happy Bike Dance". Soon after this photo was taken all 18 clowns were arrested and escorted to jail in a single VW Bug.

Clowns: What's Funny About Frightening Children of All Ages?
by Patrick Kirk Gillock

Chesterville, WA - "The Circus is coming to town!" Six words that send shivers through every one of us. That's right, lock your doors and protect your kids... the Scary Freakin' Clowns are coming!!! "When will they learn it's not cute and funny any more? Times have changed. We no longer appreciate their slapstick humor and whistle-voiced way of communication." said Tom Parson, President of SYTFCC (Show Your True Face Cowardly Clowns).

Parents take their kids to the circus because they want to see cute animals and death defying stunts. Little do these children know that lurking behind the velvet curtains are the evil, comedic spawn of Satan. "Dozens of big shoed, red-haired, suspender wearing clowns waiting to throw buckets full of confetti. They ride around on bikes honking their noses and picking on the shorter clowns like some kind of 60's biker gang. Sometimes even placing the smaller clowns into canons. Kids find all this very frightening." said Child Psychologist Susan Kenny. "The clowns pile out of a car, one after another. Each one more frightening than the last. It's like a nightmare you can't wake up from... And if not for the loud hypnotic clown music played over the speakers, you could hear most of the audience crying."

"The make-up is what frightens me the most." said Mr. Parson. "It reminds me of criminals trying to disguise themselves. I'm telling you, they have something to hide! I wouldn't be surprised if most of them had warrants for their arrest." He went on to say "And to think... they have their own college!"

Although, on Thursday, the circus was welcomed into Columbus with a giant parade and festivities, on Saturday the citizens escorted the clowns to the city limits and told "Never show your ugly faces in this town again!" by Mayor Tom Jenkins.

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