The 1974 Pinto is believed to only need a $14 air filter to become operational.

Neighbors Complain About Parked Car
by Patrick Kirk Gillock

Chesterville, WA - Outraged neighbors and slightly indifferent citizens are up in arms about a 1974 Ford Pinto which has been parked on the same lot for over 15 years. Some locals see it as an eye-sore while others see it as "the closest thing to a historic landmark this town will ever have." Either way it's become the hot topic at every DQ in the tri-county area.

Neighbors have complained but there's nothing the local authorities can do. Sheriff Tom Sparks recently said, "Mr. Crawford is allowed to keep a vehicle on his property for however long he likes. Plus, he's assured our department that he intends to repair the vehicle once time permits."

Neighbors think a little differently. "He ain't never gonna fix that thing! Hell, it's been parked there since Reagan was President." said neighbor, Mitch Clark, who would rather remain nameless. "I've seen him laying in a lawn chair every weekend... He could have fixed it. He works at a damn auto shop!"

But this red cloud does have a chrome lining. Neighborhood children have found the car to be a great substitute as a playground. On any weekend, kids of all ages can be seen sliding off the hood, jumping on the roof, or playing Pimp and Ho' on the inside. That is, if they manage to get the doors open that day. Also, on Friday nights its become a gathering place for area teens.

One local kid swears he got the car started while fiddling around under the hood. "I don't know why he just lets it sit there. Man, if I had a sweet ride like that… and was old enough to drive, I'd be out of this crappy town like that!(snap)"

"I hope they don't get rid of it!" said Cindy Mathers, age 25. "I lost my virginity in the backseat. And I know I'm not the only one (laugh). It would be a shame to see it go."

Mr. Crawford could not be reached for comment but we left a note on the windshield of his '74 Pinto.

<< Back | Main | Next >>