Local Amish Auto Repair becomes yet another victim of a sagging economy and extremely poor judgment.

Amish Car Repair Closes Down
by Patrick Kirk Gillock

Chesterville, WA - Jeremiah Smith, an Amish entrepreneur, announced today that he will be closing his Auto Repair Shop in order to "pursue other opportunities." When asked why he's shutting down, Jeremiah blames a lack of confidence in Amish Horseless-Carriage Repair and a sluggish economy. "Yes, the Amish are not known for cars, electricity, or computers. They are, after all, the devil's creation. But that doesn't mean we can't make a living."

Since opening back in 1996, Jeremiah's Car Repair has only repaired one car, an abandoned 74' Pinto which his horses towed into his garage. "I used that old girl as a divine guide. Learning from it's mechanisms and unholy cylinders." It took Jeremiah over 3 years to repair. "I take pride in my work. I rebuilt the car from the ground up. I smelted every gear, piston, and bolt. It was nice to hear the old engine purring. I actually took her for a celebration spin around the Sonic Drive-Thru late one Friday night... Please don't tell anyone back at the Old Order."

When asked what he plans to do next Jeremiah replied, "TV/VCR Repair."

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